I’m always commenting on people’s blogs about how they are brave for doing before pictures and I’ve always regretted not doing initial ones when I was 226lbs. But you know what? These really suck. It’s fine looking in the mirror and seeing your own body every day but to post it for others to see? That’s terrifying. I’m 170lbs and I’m not happy about it. I want to change my body but I really stand in my own way.
What I don’t like:
- My two stomachs (My stomach kind of cuts in half at the belly button area so it looks like I have two large rolls)
- My butt (Look at that thing!)
- My thighs
- My back
I’m really not good with my schedule being changed. I’m a planner and an organiser. For instance, today I had planned on going to the gym after work and before a meeting. I finished work at 3:30PM and I planned to be at the gym from 4:30PM-5:45PM. However, before I was about to get going, we got hit by a massive storm. Thunder, lighting, and an absolute down pour. 10 minutes in and parts of the building was already flooding. It stopped me from going to the gym which screwed up my plans. I like to say I’m a flexible person but I’m really, really not. I started beating myself up because I didn’t have enough time to work out as planned. I did what I could in my room though. I ended up doing 100calories from skipping and ten minutes of abs before showering for my meeting. However, at the meeting everyone was having icecream with a waffle cone. Know what? I totally gave into temptation. I was upset about not going to the gym and instantly my head said ‘You can work it off tomorrow’. Really? Now I’m sitting here saying ‘why?’ and ‘was it really worth it?’. No, it wasn’t.
I have to start remembering that short term satisfaction doesn’t lead to long term success. I need to really be able to say no to temptation. I’m always really good for 5 days before being bad for 2 and repeating the cycle. I get upset, beat myself up, and start over. I’m tired of the same cycle though! I really, really need a change and I have to soon find the change that will work for me.
Hopefully tomorrow ends up being a better day. I want to stay true to my weekly meals list (and not deviate) as well as get my butt to the gym. I’ve now had two days off and I don’t want to make it a third!
Anyways, I hope to be able to take more photos after I lose 10lbs and compare them to the ones above. We’ll see what the difference is in 2-3 months from now!